Dzesviro:Chinoda Kufa Chinovingira, Ndakapindirwa ndichikwesha mukadzi wemunhu

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Yedu yemajokes nevakadzi wevanhu iyi? Pamba pandairoja, paiva nechimhomz chataigara nacho murumwe wacho ndi officer weku safeguard.

Chimai chakabatana ichocho wogoti kutsvuka hatitaure, ndaingochichiva ndichiona sekuti officer varikuchitambisa nekuti chokwadi vanga vasina kana kufitana apa vanga vasina kana mwana. Nenyaya yekuti taigarisana naofficer ava, ndaingovati mukoma saka mudzimai wavo automatically anga vatove maiguru. One day ndamukira kumacombi, ndichibuda mumba ndokuona chichitsvaira apa hachina kana zambiya.ndikachiti maiguru Africa yose yapotsa yaenda panze. Chakangoti ende bamnini mune msikanzwa ko manga vasvika ikoko nguvai? Ndakangoti ah Maiguru ziso harina muganhu.

Saka mhinduro iyi yakadiradza kuti kana ndikaita nyota tsime harisi kure. ndakatanga kuita ongororo yemafambiro aiita officer kuenda kubasa ndikaona pattern yacho. Vaiita 4 days kubasa 2 days off, from Saturday to Tuesday. Vaimukira kuseni around 0430 maybe kunobata parade here or because kwaiva kure hamheno. Ndaingoti dai vakachinjwa vaende night zvangu zvaizoita chete. Asi handizivi kuti ka unholly mind aka kaibva nekupi? Vamwe vaitombotaura vachiti mariwa haateewi seri kwemba. Vamwewo vachiti mbeva dzemumba makonzo , ini zvose izvi yaiva rubbish kwandiri, zvaingopinda nekuti left zvichibuda neku right.

Rimwe zuva ndadhumhana navo futi vari paduty, ndavakubudawo kumhanyira macombi kuma to 6 samazuva ose. Ndakangoti,” but maiguru mukoma vachingoti dhi kufa, mbatya dzisati dzagovewa ndinenge ndatoopanyanga.” Chakabva chasimudza chiso semunhu aitsvaira ndokuti, “asi bamnini munodhunya chete, ko chingorooraika pane kumirira nhaka, ko mukoma vacho vakasafa munopona nei? Ende munogona kungovagara nhaka yacho vachiri vapenyu kuitira kuti tioneka kuti munozozvigona vafa kkkkkkk.” chakabva chaseka zvacho.Ndikati ,”Ah musadaro maiguru ndinokudhakisai nerudo mukatiza mukoma.”

Ndakazongonzvenga nyaya ndokuti ,”but mukoma vane choice hamunawo kana munin’ina? Chakaseka zvacho ndaookuti,”ah ndini one musikana wekupedzisira futi vamwe two vakomana.”

Ndakaenda zvangu kubasa ndichizeya mhinduro dzechimai ichi. Ndakangoti hamheno zvikada majokes.

Manheru ndabva kubasa ndavakusuka zvangu twumandiro twangu sebhachura. Ndakaona officer havo mu uniform kuma 6 varikubuda mumba vari muspeed ye 3 ma bull dog, ndakangovati ko blaz zvirisei? Vakangoti bamdiki rega ndimbomhanya pagraft pane zviri kuitika. Pamba tairoja madoor akatarisana achibva mu passage.ini one room yangu officer yavo, landlord vaiva gogaz vaitochengetwa ne musikana webasa saka pamba apa panga pasina chaunga.

Ndavakubva kunosuka dhuma nechimaiguru mu passage, ndikangoti “zvirisei gules , ko nhasi kwakanaka here mukoma kuenda kugraft night plus vanenge vari pa off wani?” Chakangoti ,”ndozvinoita basa ramukoma wenyu kwaita emergence pane munhu asina kuuya ku duty saka vafonerwa kuti vamubatire.”

Munoona madzimai edu aya vanomboita loose zvekuti vanozopepuka vanyikwa. Ndakangotaura sekutamba ndikati “saka Nhasi vasipo kudai ndombokuchengetaiwoka?”
Chakabva chaseka zvikanzi ende zvabamnini asikana bva tengaika litre racho tikutendei ne mutupo. Ndakangoti,”its bho ndinokusotai gules.”

Apa ndaida kubika, zvose ndiye tsve pasi. Ndini tande ku supermarket ndobva ndaita kashopping kangu ketwuma goodies 1ltr rangu re coke , twuma spongy cakes ne twumachocolate. 2minutes ndainge ndadzoka. Ndakasviko knocker ndobva chadongorera zvikanzi ,”hiii ende hamurevesi, matonotenga? Ndanga ndichitamba zvangu ini , chipindaizve ndingatenda muri pamusuwo here chokwadi. Madziro ane nzeve aya.” Ndakakwenya mhino nekasiyanwa ndikati umu handibudi ndisina kuluma.

“Hii ende makazvipengera, mutupo chii zviya?Garaika pasi.” Ndakabva ndati mbwe kugara pamubhedha sekuti manga musina kana stool. ” Munoda kutenda maiguru? Muchatenda zvenyu ko isu tiri ana mhofu ka isu, tinoita zvihombe.”
“Ah zvamuri wemutupo mumwe chete nhai, maita basa mhofu yemukono maita shavaaa ” ndakabva ndaita sendaakubuda kuitira kuti kanyaya kangu kakaramba kutambirwa ndobva ndatobuda, ndakabva ndasimuka ndobva ndaenda panzeve chaipo ndookuti,”it’s bhoo gules but mukoma varikufaya mablank ka? 2years mungori chibhebhi dai patove nekanoti n’ee. Changosara kuti ndimbotryawo.”
” Ah ndookwazvatosvika nhai? Zvaatori mashura , munombozviitira kupi zvamunotaura izvozvo, munoziva kuti kungobatwa kufa kwemunhu?”ndakabva ndawana kachivindi ndobva ndanyatsoswedera padhuze ndikati,”maiguru zvemwana zvinomboda ma hours here? Ma seconds chaiwo munenge matoo bhoo.”
“He he he vana Tindo mungatiudze maitirwo evana, imi musina kana wekupomerwa zvake?” Chakadaro chichindisundira kure. Ndakadzoka pedyo nacho ndokuchisimudza pamubhedha pachainge chakagara ndobva ndachimbundira nemuchiuno chaimo ndikati,” chingondipai chance muone. In two days munenge mongorutsa nekupfira ndakabva ndati muromo ndii ndokutanga kuchikisa wanikwe chofemera pamusoro.

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Ndakabva ndachisundira pamubhedha ndisu paya ngondo ngondo pamubhedha ndikati nechemumoyo siiisi toite baasa ,toleka!!! Ndakakisa mukadzi wemunhu kusvika anakirwa ndakaona aveku respondawo takakisana zvemufirimu. Ndikati zvekuba izvi zvinoda kariki riki kudya kwehama dzemukadzi. Chinono chinengwe bere rakadya richifamba. Ndakaivhomora mubhurugwa iyo ino yanga yave simbi kumira. Ndakangoti kabhurukwa kechimai peu nepaside ndiye nhengo yangu pfee. Ndakangonzwa zvonzi ” ah nhai bamnini, zvamunenge makutondisvira nhai? Eeish aash tinowanikidzwa kani mirai ndikiye door”
Ndabva ndanoti door Ketye kukiya nekuti makeys anga aripadoor kare ndikati,” kuwanikidzwa naniko bhebhi mira ndikutundire apa ubate mwana officer anokuwana mangwana wavebhoo.” Ndakaipfekerazve nepaside pe pant paya. Varume ndakarova chinhu zvisina kana rhythm chandinoziva ndechekuti chimai chaikoira ichocho tichienderana, chikapa chichirira sepanoridzwa maoko. Ndakamboda kutunda ndikasunga, ndikati ndikatangira chimai ichi ndingashorwa zvegore rose. Ndakazonzwa choti ” ipapo mhofu ipapo dady ndakutunda dady isai yose yamwai zamhu bamnini.” Ndakanzwa chochemerera sekambwanana karohwa nechando ndikaziva kuti chakutunda. Pandakati ndokavira bhora mberi kuti nditunde ndakanzwa ukwechere kwechere hwema key. Panemunhu aizama kukiinura door nekunze. Mboro yakabva yangosvava kuita ka dora chaiko. Ndakango spina semusoja ndiye pasi dhi, pasi pemubhedha pfee.

“Ah asi dady madzoka ? Mirai ndikuvhurirei, hamukwanise kuvhura because ndasiya makeys pa door.” Chakapukuta Zviya very fast ndokumhanya kunovhura door. “Ah ndanga ndakutorara, ndokuisirai mvuraka since mazoenda musina kugeza?” Officer vakaramba vachiti vainge vaneta vanga vongoda kuzorora vakabvisa njombo (bhutsu) ndokukanda pasi pemubhedha pandaive nechekumusoro kwangu chaiko.

“Ah ko wazowanepi mari yakutenga zvose izvi uchindinyima mari yekombi chaiyo? Vakadaro officer vachisimudza parcel yandainge ndakwirira chimoko chavo.
“Aaah eeeh hamheno kuti mapesana papi natsano wenyu Themba,atofona achiti ave pa Ok apo ndikati usasvike pano kana usina litre. Ndopandaona ouya nekaparcel ikaka. Asvika kuma6 ikoko muchangobuda. Anga achitokufarisai. Ko matodzoka?”
“Zvirikupiko Kune chimwe chimufana chanonoka kusvika papost hachingaite communication kusvika guard weday atofona ku office, ndatosvika chavepo ndachituka ndikati ndipe mari yangu yekombi yandatambisa.?

Dzakabva dzavhura coke iya ndokuti,” ah ndanga ndoti hameno kwazvabva , unodyiswa zvabva kuchikombaka. Vakadzi vamazuvano machenjeresa.” Dzakatanga kurova zvadzo glass re coke ndiri pasi pembhedha paya,apa hana iri kubika manhanga. Kufema ndanga ndave pa silent. Ndaingozvitongesa ndichiti, ndamboregerei kunyumwa pandaona munhu achienda kubasa ari pa off? Ko zvimwe itrap. Zvino nhasi pangu papera. Pfungwa dzakaita bara ramhanya ndiri pasi paya paiva neungwanda hwemasimbi bhutsu nezvimwe zvandisina kunzvisisa. Zvino ndikabatwa nechikosoro kana kuhotsira ne dust riripano ndinodii? Saka ndichabuda sei mangwana zvaari paoff murume uyu? Hey ma1, chandakaimerera hangu. Idzi dzaiva pfungwa dzaingunobikana.

Vadiwa tosangana pachikamu chepiri panyaya ino.

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