Chinzwa iyi, how Anna crooked me into marrying her!
One day, I was shopping at Westgate and saw this fine-arz girl ahead of me. She had those ocean wide-hips and soft succulent light skin that you only had to add butter and lick until she was finished. I walked up to her and shock-n-horror. It was Anna. I grew up with her. In fact, takakura tichatamba mahumbwe tese. Iye achifarira kuita muroyi ini ndichifarira kuita bhinya. And there she was, a fine young lady. She told me she was doing Form Five. At the time, I was in second year at varsity.
When she went back to boarding, I clandestinely sent her a cellphone. Ndakabva ndakanda shoko, and ndikabva ndadiwa. I started sending her raunchy messages. Kinda foreplay so that when she came for the holidays, it would be easy to score. Those days I was working part-time for a donor agency headed by an American lady who was paying my wages and in-kind. (Long story for another day).
We agreed to visit one of the lecturers at varsity I had arranged with. As her “mentor”, I wanted her to pitch her studies well for varsity. When the holidays came, we made our way to the lecturer. Just as we arrived, the lecturer sent me an SMS asking to postpone the meeting to later in the afternoon. He had a staff meeting that was taking longer than anticipated. Rather disappointed, I suggested that we wait in my room. Anna agreed, still excited to be coached by a varsity lecturer.
As she sat in my room, I went to the bathroom. I came back almost stark-naked, covered with only a gown. As I entered, I flashed my already erect manhood!!! She screamed her lungs out. Asi chii nhai? She was being an idiot. We had discussed and “agreed” to this in those raunchy SMSes we used to send each other. Those SMSes could’ve been acceptable in any court of law as undeniable evidence. So there I was with my Sajeni Taguta (every man has got a name for his) deflating in front of a screaming and frightened girl. Her screams invited almost the whole corridor to come and watch this freak show. As she heard the commotion outside, she realized that her screams were her only weapon from impending rape. She started shouting at me so that the spectators could hear as well,
“You’ll never sleep with me! I’ll only lose my v1rginity on my wedding night…….Uri zibenzi remunhu….Lecturer wekupi? Wanga uchingoda kundikwira chete!!!”
I was only rescued by the lecturer…eh-h ……sorry I mean my friend, Tapiwa. He heard the loud howling laughter from spectators. He entered the room and warned her,
”Iwe Anna, regera kushamisira wanzwaka. Hausiriwe wega panyika unebeche. If you don’t want kukwirwa ingoramba, kwete zvenoise izvi.”
“Saka you’d planned this. Wait a minute, how did you know my name?”
That question was ignored by Tapiwa who left the room to address the spectators,
“Guyz, all of you owe Jonsy some money! He is generous and even buys your starving arses meals….without demanding immediate payback. Do you want him to demand payback right now?”
Almost everyone fled! Tapiwa came back, grabbed Anna’s hand, and left her at the taxi rank.
I never wanted to speak to her…ever again. My sister told me in passing that she was school mates with Anna. Her near – s3xcapade with me spread like wild fire among her friends, including my sister. She mentioned that Anna did not come back for her A-levels. Her father had been retrenched, and she was thinking of going for temporary teaching. Those days I had stumbled on a lucrative venture. A sister donor agency was closing its offices in a neighboring country. The American and European staff had to flee after offending local authorities. I offered to manage the closing down of the office while getting rid of their stock of medicines, whichever way I saw fit. I sold to NGOs and doctors locally and in Zambia. I felt pity for Anna. I paid directly to the school her tuition, boarding, and exam fees.
I ignored her thank you letter.
When she came to varsity, I was not interested in any romantic liaison with her. I had graduated and was now a fulltime “indigenous”. She and my sister used to sleepover at the apartment that I had bought. I intentionally left incriminating evidence of other conquests. She was like a sister to me. It was not an easy decision to let go of someone I quietly salivated over.
When she was in her final year, she called to tell me that she and my sister were coming to my apartment. I was not happy. That very day, I had just bought a stand from a property developer in Glen Lorne. I was now travelling abroad to some of these war-torn countries where I bought excess stockpiles of medical equipment and medicine from international donor agencies. I would sell locally but mostly in worse-off war torn countries like DRC and CAR. I was planning to celebrate with at least two s3xcapades over the weekend. Anna and my sister were now destroying my nicely laid out plans.
I got home and found Anna wearing one of my long T-shirts and tracksuit pants. She had taken a bath and was waiting for my sister to come with the rest of her clothes, including her pjs. My oversized clothes made her look stunningly sexy. Vakomana mwana akavakwa iyeye!! Those wide hips! Those wide hips! Let me say it again, those wide hips! Oh-la-la-la!! She had prepared my favourite meal, sadza rezviyo nechimukuyu chinedovi. I played along, not sure where this game was headed. I showed her my title deeds. I was supposed to choose one house plan from the five the property developer had given me.
“Changosara is a wife to choose her best housing plan. But mukadzi haasi kubatika. Town yakazara maruggamuffin chete,” I teased her.
“You’re not looking in the right places,” stunned by the size of the house I wanted to build.
I was surprised when she knelt in front of me and offered a dish and towel to wash my hands. After the lovely meal, she ordered me to go and bath. I found everything already prepared in the bathroom.
After brushing my teeth, I came back in my pjs. She showed me her choice among the housing plans. Ndakatoona kuti mwana atoperera mudzimba idzi. Typical of Zimbabwean women, well laid-out future plans are the best aphrodisiac. Luckily it was my choice as well. Usually when I had visitors, I slept on the couch in front of the TV and they slept in the bedroom. I put on a movie, Baggage Claim, and slept on the couch. Just as I was wondering when my sister was coming, Anna came and slept in my arms on the couch. Captain All-Nations immediately stood up to attention (yes, HE had a new name after sampling almost all nations). She felt HIM on her back and immediately jumped.
“Manje haunyari!” She screamed.
But I retorted,
“Shaz, if Captain does not stand up to attention at your wide hips, I’d take HIM to military prison for corporal punishment.”
She kept quiet as she sat on the other couch. Her jumpy behavior made me suspect that she was still a virgin.
But I was not concerned with her behavior. I had just bought a stand and was building a house. No one was going to spoil my celebratory mood. I watched the movie, laughing and giggling at every funny part. She was quiet, and I could tell she was deep in thought. After about fifteen minutes, she came back to my couch. I immediately wrapped my arms around her and passionately kissed her. She responded with one of the best kisses I have ever had. She was mouthy, wet and used a lot of tongue. Our tongues entangled…..I lovvvvveeeeed that.
Only to be spoilt by,
“Jonathan, I love you with all my heart!!!”
Asi chii nhai??!! I responded,
“Hmmm? Oh-h, yes, yes, yes!! Me too babe!!”
If a tree had those wide hips, those big firm breasts, and those light skinned thighs, I would’ve loved it too. With all my heart, for that matter!
I have learnt that you only get one chance per night with virgins. If you miss that chance, you will spend the whole night with Captain standing at attention, and the v1rgin tightly crossing her legs. The f0replay was passionate with me ripping off my clothes and then going after her clothes. You snooze, you lose. I tore off all our clothes until we were both stark naked. I carried her to the bedroom, dimmed the lights and played some soft John Legend songs.
I started kissing those firm big breasts. Her nipples responded by standing to attention. She let out a long sexy mourn as she caressed my head. Her soft mourns drove me even wilders. I said to her,
“I’ve always wanted to kiss your hips, saka nhasi I’ve got my chance.”
I went down slowly to kiss her sexy deep navel, as my hands played with her nipples. I licked it like it was a jug of ice-cream. She caressed my ears until they were tingly. I couldn’t help but giggle like a small boy. After a while, I moved down until I lay between her open legs. There are some Goddesses out there. It was quite a sight for sore eyes watching this fine specimen of a woman from that angle. I marveled at her chocolate paradise which she shyly pretended to cover with her hand. Mwana anedinji rakadhonzwa zvinofadza iyeye. I started kissing her hips from one to the other and back. She giggled softly at my obsession with her hips. Ini kana kumbonyara.
Suddenly, without giving her a moment to stop me, I went for her klit th my tongue. Her first response which I had suspected as she tried to resist was,
However, as the sweetness reached her brain, she mourned,
“My gosh, that’s so sweetttttttt!!”
With the next stroke of my tongue on her klit, she shouted,
“Iwe regera kundinakidza zvakadaro!!! I’ll tell on you to my mommy.”
With the next stroke of my tongue on her klit, she shouted,
“Mommy, huyayi muone Jonathan zvaari kundiita. His tongue is killing me!! Jonsy zvauri bhinya! Mmmmmmmmmm! Amaihwe kani! Amaihwe kani! Amaihwe kani! Mmmmmmmmmm!”
With the next stroke of my tongue on her klit, she mourned,
“Jonathan, I’m cominggggggg!!”
With the next stroke of my tongue on her klit, she started crying softly as she whispered, “Jonathan, I love you with all my heart!”
If I must say so,
Well, it aint bragging if you can back it up!
She did not just come, she gushed and jolted violently. Aiita seachafa ne0rgasm. I never let go of such a sweet 0rgasm. I continued to suckle on that highway to heaven. And she continued to shake violently. She held a hand over her mouth as she cried with pleasure. I could see her tears of joy and that excited me even more.
After the marathon 0rgasm, she pulled me to come up. As I came up, my hand slithered towards the bed sideboard to take out a condom. She firmly retorted,
“I’m not losing my v1rginity to a plastic!! If I fall pregnant, hamheno zvako!! Buy morning-after pills if you’ve to.”
With an erect Captain, my mind was totally clouded. I immediately forgot about the condom, something I’ve never done in ALL my s3xcapades. Besides, it was not like she had said internationally known mood-killers like,
“I slept at an All-Night prayer last week. The preacher said I’m now cured of Aids.”
This was a virgin we are talking about. What else can I say? That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
I was chuffed as she gently stroked Captain All-Nations, and gently introduced HIM to her wet vajayjay. She jolted at the sharp pain. She started writhing underneath me as she tried again to introduce HIM to HIS partner. Still no luck. I could see the pain on her face. I started caressing her klit with my other hand on her nipple and my tongue on her other nipple. I pushed gently and she jolted again. I was now worried that she was going to say,
“Can we try another time?…..Like in ten years’ time?”
As she jolted, she dug her sharp nails into my back. I tried again and she dug even deeper.
I realized that her sharp nails had to be stopped. I then said to her,
As she asked,
I pressed hard into her and could feel her hymen breaking. She screamed at the pain, and I really felt sorry for her. She started screaming,
“Baba kani, ndofa zvangu ini, Baba huyai murove Jonsy. Ndouraiwa zvangu ini!!”
“Jonathan you are lying, you don’t love me. You’re lying.”
Uchagoudza ani? Besides, you can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs. I could only reply, and I might have meant it then by saying,
“I love you, Anna, I really do. Please don’t cry. It won’t hurt next time. I love you, my dear.”
After about five minutes, I slowed down and just lay on top of her, still inside her. It was only then that she started responding, moving at her own pace, and stopping when the pain was too much. She told me to keep very still, as she gyrated very slowly. I loved her guidance to an 0rgasm. Kwete kungorara sedahwa. She started to gain momentum and shock-n-horror, she came. I was excited by her visible coming. Vamwe, you just never know! Anna “screamed like a giraffe” as she jolted,
‘‘Oh-h my gosh, I’m cominggg!!! I can’t believe I came after so much pain.”
It was so exciting to watch her come so softly and so sweetly. I think her “come” drugged my mind because I whispered softly into her ear,
“I love the way you come babe. It’s so not fair that there are beggars on the street right now. It’s just not fair, babe.”
I could not believe I said that, and tried to justify,
“Zvauri muroyi chaiye. How can you make a grown-arz man like me lose my marbles and say crazy things like that?”
She giggled with laughter. After about two minutes, she whispered softly,
“Please come inside me. I want to feel your warm liquid manhood inside me.”
Now that’ sexy!!
I started moving rhythmically as she joined me gyrating. I was shocked given that she had just bled. But there was some pain etched on her face,
“How dare you want me to lose my virginity to a plastic? I want your warm sperm inside me.”
Varume ndakapihwa manyemwe. I felt all my sperm coming, ndakapfinyama kumeso sebhinya as I came. I felt more powerful than the President chaiye! Zviroto, zviroto. I saw myself ruling my own country. Kudhunya chaiko handiti? As I was coming, she tightened her arms and legs around me so that I could not ejaculate outside. I almost fainted. She mourned,
“Murume wangu wandidziisa nehuronyo hwako. Thank you, I’m so proud of you.”
We spent the weekend in doors with me feeling more powerful than all Presidents. Morning-after pill, my foot.
Two weeks later, after I had returned from Ukraine, we went to her aunt to announce that I wanted to pay lobola for her beautiful niece. She was not surprised at all and said,
“We told Anna a long time ago that she should get married to you. Besides who else was going to marry her? Who would marry her if they heard that Jonathan had paid almost all her university fees? Your kindness put us in a very difficult place. Better hurry up and get married before her parents notice it. I can guess from her plum and radiant face that she’s already pregnant.”
It was only then that I realized Anna had seduced me. She was on the homestretch to her degree, and timed her pregnancy perfectly.
Apa ndanga ndarohwa ten-nil. I loved her even more!!!
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